he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
