Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
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Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
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The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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