u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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