and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
how can u be prego again
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
