I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
They are going to name an STD after you.
Randomize
