i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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