does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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