I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
