The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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