Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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