you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
