I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
