i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
