i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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