Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
