I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize