So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
