with your own penis?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
