I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
