You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
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Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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