You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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