summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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