If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
