its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
