i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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