Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
So here I am, sexting at work.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
