Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Randomize
