he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
