the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
