I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
