I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I could fuck to npr.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
