dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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