I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
