I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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