it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
