You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The struggles of a small town man whore
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
