how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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