I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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