Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wish there were birth control emojis
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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