No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
