Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
she looked like the before picture.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Girls should come with a carfax report
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
