dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
