Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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