he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
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He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
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Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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