evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize