you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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