went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I am available for nakedness
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
