yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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