One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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