you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
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Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
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I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So vagazzling was a success
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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