Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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