Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
