Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
