hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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