I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
