i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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