The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
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My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
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Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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