Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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